Designing the Perfect Outdoor Oasis to Avoid Annoying Guests
Posted on Tuesday, June 26, 2018
By:
Sequoia Supply
Categories:
Composite Decking
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Hardscape Features
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Grilling & Smoking
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Deck Construction
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Fire Pits & Fire Tables
Having a beautiful, low-maintenance, amenity-packed, high-tech outdoor oasis doesn’t come without a price. It will inevitably attract annoying, unwanted guests, friends, and family that hang around far too long and stick their nose where it doesn’t belong. Design accordingly.
We have decades of experience in supplying stunning, low-maintenance, high-amenity outdoor oases for thousands of customers including gorgeous composite decks, hardscape patios, outdoor kitchens, perfect pergolas, and enticing escapes. So please, use our experience – the stories we’ve heard – and heed our advice while we help you strategically design your perfect outdoor oasis.
The fact of the matter is, honey draws flies. And when you build your honey of an outdoor composite deck and hardscape patio retreat, there’s simply nothing you can do (short of electronic fences, ferocious foxes, or firearms) to keep the annoying family ‘flies’ away. But worry not. We are pros in a lot of areas, friends. We’ve cataloged years of feedback and strategic modifications that are proven plans to evade the invaders.
Now then, you’ve built a
beautiful low-maintenance composite deck.
That is fantastic!! Except… now you can’t use the excuse of having to spend hours sanding and staining and sealing and maintaining your deck to avoid those undesired guests. Oh crap!! That excuse is out the window!!
Please… let’s talk.
TOO BUSY COOKING, CAN’T TALK NOW
If you are the chief cook of your cavern, this one is a slam dunk! Install the ultimate outdoor kitchen that has so many lids to lift, burners to check, and smokers to stoke that – at any given strategic time – you can turn it all on and have your arms flailing… (albeit for the show).
Possible Drawback: You’ll serve such great food that you will draw even more undesired guests!
“I’D LOVE TO HELP YOU COOK”
Oh heck no! You have installed the ultimate outdoor kitchen cooking station that is your pride and joy, your baby. You will not let anyone else lay their grubby hands upon her. Conjure up a quick, convoluted, mesmerizing narrative that convinces them how complicated everything is to operate and that if they lift one lid at the wrong nanosecond, it will destroy the entire meal and quite possibly cause a catastrophic explosion!
Possible Drawback: None.
DRAW THEM AWAY FROM YOUR COVETED CORNER
So if your desired hang is the outdoor kitchen or the awesome deck in general, add an enticing hardscape patio that is expertly-outfitted for gaming. Cornhole, Ping Pong, Washers, etc. will keep them occupied for hours and completely away from you and your sweet space!
Possible Drawback: They will have such a great time they will stay even later.
FIND YOUR “INNER SELF” AT THE FIRE PIT
When everyone is gathered around the perfect fire pit, unwanted guests will sense a false vulnerability and start to verbally invade your sanctuary space (and the getting-on of your desired drink). In that case, simply raise a hand while keeping your eyes firmly fixed on the fascinating fire, and soundly state, “Please, I’m connecting with my inner self.”
Possible Drawback: None.
TURN UP THE VOLUME!
A popular deck design feature is to include a tucked-away personal lounging cove filled with comfortable outdoor furniture. For a period of time, hanging out here will give you the peace and privacy that you desire. However, it’s only a matter of time until someone undesired sniffs you out and wants to join in – and thereby destroy – your solace. That’s when it’s time to grab your hidden remote and turn up the volume on your outdoor speakers. Much like rock-n-roll bars play old, loud country music at closing time to encourage patrons to leave, as guitarist Nigel Tufnel proclaimed in the 1984 cult master piece “Spinal Tap”, “These go to 11”! Don’t just turn it up to 10, TURN IT UP!!
Possible Drawback: Other unwanted guests may hear and actually love whatever song you are playing and come to join in the party.
Tagged:Outdoor Kitchens, Fire Pits, Hardscaping, Composite Decks, Grilling Stations, Outdoor Cooking, Hardscape Patio, Grilling, Barbecue, BBQ, Decks